PEI Beach Glass

Have you ever felt guilty for feeling confident? As women, we have been conditioned to believe that confidence isn’t “lady-like.” We have been called bossy, rude or insensitive for simply believing in ourselves. I have lived this. I’ve lost confidence because I convinced myself I didn’t deserve to feel that way. 

I started and then gave up on many projects because I talked myself out of the follow-through. Imposter syndrome looms above my ideas and creative ventures. We tell ourselves we aren’t good enough. That seems much more realistic than the alternative. I believed that something had to be perfect for me to put it out there creatively or artistically. I never felt like anything I did was perfect. I felt like an imposter, like what I did was never good enough. 

Spoiler 1: There is no such thing as good enough. We will always compare ourselves to others or the gold standard of whatever we strive for. There will always be something we can improve upon or that someone else does better.

Spoiler 2: It doesn’t matter.

I know, the first spoiler is not something you didn’t know. I want to focus on the second spoiler. It doesn’t matter. What if you did that thing you always wanted to do. Music, visual art, writing, you get the idea. What if you put a lot of time and energy into it? Did you learn something along the way? Did you create something you are proud of? There! That is where confidence can emerge. We attach our level of confidence in ourselves and our work to the approval of others. We can feel like we’ve done something good, but we condition ourselves to accept everyone else’s opinion about our work. We let that taint our confidence.

Not everyone is going to like what you do. It doesn’t matter. That is always the biggest hit to my confidence and the hurdle I am trying to overcome. Writing this blog has been an idea of mine for quite some time, but I am not a writer. I am someone who wants to share ideas. I want to create a connection with like-minded people. I want to offer encouragement to folks like me who struggle with grief and mental health from time to time. If I can do this, you can do your thing. Whatever it is. Do it. 

Do it with confidence and know that it is not the number of followers you have, the popularity of what you do or the money you make from doing your thing. Live your truth. We are not guaranteed anything on this earth. We have lost young, talented people in the last few months. You and I are still here for a reason. We all have something to share; I believe that. My mom knits baby hats and sweaters and donates them to the hospital. They are beautiful works of art, and she gives them away for free. I have friends who hold PhDs in their non-music-related work fields, and they find time to learn and create music (very well) as a hobby. A friend of mine started taking photos and making art in his garage. After years of work, he is now being represented by a gallery. All these ideas start somewhere. 

Your ideas are valid, not because someone or society says they are, but because you have something unique to share. If you are passionate about something, it is worth doing. It may never leave your kitchen, computer, or easel, but doing it is essential. When you live your truth, you will find confidence. It is, to me, in fact, the only place we can find confidence.